i have a friend who has the most amazing eye for photography. i literally stare at his pictures and take the time to create full, complete stories in my head. they are...captivating.
we were chatting one day and i was complaining about that whole gifting situation when he mentioned that he always buys a toaster as a wedding gift. no matter if the couple registered and already received it. that's HIS THING. always and forever, toaster it is. quirky? yes, absolutely.
in any case, for some reason, i felt compelled to share one of my ideas with him. "hey, you know what your gift to me is going to be, right?!"
"toaster?"
"no! my engagement pictures, silly! wouldn't that be fun??"
*silence*
this idea has been on my mind and i was going to ask him to do this for me (and my future hubs) when i um, eventually got engaged. but somehow, my masta-plan spilled out of me years ahead of time and his reaction: less than thrilled.
needless to say, i'm a little disappointed. first, in myself for not being able to...hold it in. second, in myself for delivering the message the way i did (i swear, i had a way more tactful approach in mind. but that all went to sh*t when i said what i said). third, in my friend for not sharing in my excitement. haa. the third one is all about me being needy...but i mean, a little fake enthusiasm would have been nice.
basically, in doing this, i shot myself in the foot. or face. either one. because how am i going to graciously ask him...again...when the time actually comes? and the answer is...i can't. i already disgustingly communicated my idea as a demand. ew, right? DAMN. so there goes all my dreams of having my friend's eye capture all the lovely that would have been my engagement session. damn damn damn.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
#85: toasted.
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5 comments:
Oh no! What did he say? How come he wouldn't do the photos for you? That sucks :(
Asking friends for services is generally bad form. I'm a lawyer and my normal fee is $150 an hour. I have a a friend who asked me to do her house closing as a wedding gift. The attitude was that it will cost you nothing but time... but my time is valuable and doing her closing which took many many hours took me away from paying clients. I ended up really resenting her for it. Not a good position to be in.
toaster every time? umm, thanks but no! that's not quirky, that's inconsiderate and wasteful, in my opinion. unless, of course, you feel like starting a toaster collection, or it's the most amazing, extravagant toaster of your dreams.
anyway, we had my husband's friend do our wedding photos. we paid for her airfare, accommodations, petty cash, and equipment rental. i really liked her previous work, but i ended up being sorely disappointed.
i can't really complain, because it was free, and she's a friend. so, the lesson learned is that when you pay a stranger to do good work, and they don't, at the very least you can be angry or unhappy. if it's your friend, you're kind of stuck. friends offering to help with little things is a different matter.
if you still want his 'eye' when your wedding comes...just offer to pay for them. And accept your toaster graciously.
If you pay he has to give you star treatment...and maybe a little extra because your also his friend.
Love your blog. Just found it the other day. I'm also not engaged (anymore) but always looking for good (and classy) ideas.
I did this for a friend of mine when she got engaged. She asked me if I would take her engagement pictures, and then offered to pay, but not being a pro, I said I would just do it as their wedding gift. Everything worked out great, they loved the pictures and I didn't have to worry about what to get them for their wedding :)
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