Thursday, November 13, 2008

#425: just say no.

cheerio.

please read this.

and this.

*************************************

a wedding should never be defined by its tangibles, no matter how complicated or simple. and it's disheartening to know that it's become status quo to put ourselves under so much pressure to impress (either monetarily or craft-ily or even first dance-ily).

let's say no to all that. and just revel in being ourselves. let's be confident enough to spend a millllllllion dollars or bake our own 15-tiered cake only if we want to. not because WIC or Martha or our peers are demanding it.

a wedding is, in its simplest form, an announcement to your close ones that you're committing to your betrothed for forever...and that you're going to come into some tax benefits as a couple.

all the rest of it is...stuff.


*note to self*

15 comments:

Cyd said...

I concur. 100000%. It's a note I have to make to myself often, too, but it's a reminder worth making. We all know it's not about that one day, but it doesn't make it less difficult to get wrapped up in fabulous ideas and aspirations anyway!

Mary Michal said...

Hooray for that...I couldn't have said it any better.

Bridechka said...

Hear hear sister! We can't hear this often enough, I try to remind myself all the time to appreciate the beauty of this thing that the Big Guy and I are doing together... that's what matters and everything else is just frill (pretty frill! but frill nonetheless!).

Great post :)

Jennifer said...

I have to say, not to brag at all, but to make a point, that we received several thousand dollars as wedding gifts. When relaying to my dad the generosity of the gifts I said "it would to have been nice to have that money BEFORE the wedding". His reply was why, what would you have done differntly, what would you have spent that money on?...honestly, I couldn't think of ONE thing I would have changed or would have been better if I could have "upgraded". I have thought about that for days and still can not think of anything I would have done differntly or "better". Why? Because we were not hung up on tangibles!

Anonymous said...

thank goodness. you have set me straight! and trust me I was getting lost in the world of family expectations and pressures and favors and flowers!

Jessica said...

AMEN.

Broke-ass Bride said...

Thanks for the reality check. With all the poorness its nice to be reminded of the simplicity of it all. So good to hear.

Sarah said...

I agree wholeheartedly. The best weddings are not the ones done to impress others, but rather the ones done to make the couple happy.

Abi said...

Heh, I read you comment on the A Practical Wedding post, and may I just say that I love that part from "Just Friends". Hysterical.

And I wanted to pump my fist in the air like I was at a hardcore concert when you knocked the flower girl dresses. Go you.

Louise said...

a bit off-topic, but you do know 'Cheerio' means 'bye', right?

Ten Thousand Only said...

HAHAAAA..
you're totally right! but i still like saying it. even in the wrong context.

cheerio! ;)

rednexmama said...

Me and A have been together for 8 1/2 years and are getting married next July. We've lived together for 6 1/2 years, we've bought homes and vehicles together, we have life insurance together, and a beautiful daughter. So getting married never seemed "important". We don't HAVE to do it. We WANT to. We WANT to stand up in front of our family and friends and poor our hearts out. And the fact that I'll be rocking a $25 dress is just icing on the cake!

Tasha said...

This quote has really helped to keep me sane during wedding planning:

"Planning a wedding is like coloring when you're 4: There's no right or wrong way to do it. And everyone will love it because they love you!"

Meg said...

Yay! You know what else we should keep in mind in the echo chamber of bridal blog land? It's no one elses business how we do it :)

Praveen R. said...

I absolutely agree with you on this. Personally I don't wanna spend my entire savings on my wedding, I'd rather keep those for other investments.

Sometimes its our folks who wants us to spend lavishly to keep up to the expectations of their peers. Shucks. I'm still having a cheap wedding :p