Monday, November 10, 2008

#423: not so flush.

i've been going back and forth about whether i need to get a wedding band.

against:
1) some people wear their wedding band on days they don't want to wear their engagement ring. but that will never be me. my engagement ring is on my finger every single day. i never take it off, i never leave it at home and i accidentally bang it on things with no remorse to show for it. not unlike other parts of my body.
2) my ring is not the typical engagement ring. literally. the fiance designed it with a jeweler with inspiration from a regular ol' ring. it's meant to be worn on its own, not stacked with other rings. so.
3) does a wedding band symbolize something the engagement ring doesn't?
4) if not, why bother with the extra expenditure?

for:
1) it's tradition.
2) i like jewelry.
3) what will he put on my finger when we exchange rings during the ceremony?

well. if i do decide to get a wedding band, it'll be something like this.

$100 via helen ficalora.

1 mm of rose gold lovely.

27 comments:

Abbie said...

Some people wear their engagement ring on their right hand and the wedding band on the left once married. It's an idea...

Maddie said...

Oh I could not agree more! I have a beautiful, if not somewhat formal, engagement ring and I treat it the same way I did my prized mood ring in the 4th grade. It washes dishes, paints faces, digs in the dirt, and hosts a plethora of other dangerous activities without being removed.

Maybe I'll buy a super cheapo funky sterling ring somewhere in the Village or from Silpada just for extreme situations like traveling to Mexico City where I'd rather not be hit on by men who could be my father, but also would not necessarily like my currently uninsured ring to get stolen. Perhaps?

Bridechka said...

Abbie, that is my plan too, I am gonna wear one on one hand and one on another.

The only reason I am even having one is it is Jewish tradition to have a wedding band. It will be completely plain (also coincidentally jives with the Jewish tradition) and very thin like the one you posted. But I am a lucky duck who has aunt who makes jewelry so mine will be gratis.

Kristen said...

I opted for 2 60mm gold bands (one on either side of my e-ring) in leiu of a wedding band. After the wedding we had them soldered together, but for the ceremony my husband put all three on. In retrospect, I probably should have worn the bottom band and the e-ring and just had him put on the top band but it worked all right.

If you decide to not get a wedding band just have him use your e-ring for the ceremony. No one will even know.

Adrienne said...

I am with you on this one. I am undecided on whether or not I even need a wedding band. Like you, I feel like the engagement ring is enough on it's own, and mine was also designed to stand alone. However, a friend of mine who is a jeweler told me that if I don't get a wedding band people may still think I am engaged. I don't really care about that though, I like my ring just the way it is! If I can find one that is small and actually looks nice with my ring, I will get one, if not no big deal.

During the ceremony he can put your engagement ring on you. Some people have to have their rings soldered together, so they have no choice but to do that. It's just that you would have to go through the day without it on. Good luck with it!

E said...

I'm not getting a wedding band for all of the reasons you listed, along with the fact that it's just one more unnecessary expense. My engagement ring is designed to wear alone (and could actually be damaged by wearing another ring with it, because it has alot of really intricate engraving around the band).

I specifically asked my fiance to get something with a very thin band because I have tiny hands and didn't want to be overwhelmed with metal, so adding another band now would pretty much defeat the whole purpose of getting a thin band on the engagement ring.

I couldn't care less if people are "confused" about my marital status because I'm wearing one ring instead of two.

Allison said...

I'm not married, but my cousin is and she has an elaborate antique ring that she wears alone. When she got married, she took off the ring and gave it to the best man and then during the exchange of the rings, her husband put the ring back on. So you could do something like that.

Ashley Rose Photography said...

My ring is the same thing, not meant to be set with another. So we decided to go with just the e-ring, while I absolutely love it I am a tad sad about not having a wedding band. But it was fine when we exchanged rings, he had mine the day before the wedding, got it nice and shiny and then i got it at the ceremony! its really not a big deal- but just sometimes i wish i had one.

jans said...

My fiance did an amazing job with my engagement ring- http://whitehousebrothers.com/detail.php?id=44. It's so beautiful, I'm just going to have that serve as both engagement and wedding ring- he can just put that on my finger when we do the rings. To hell with tradition, do what makes sense for you.

jans said...

My fiance did an amazing job with my engagement ring- http://whitehousebrothers.com/detail.php?id=44. It's so beautiful, I'm just going to have that serve as both engagement and wedding ring- he can just put that on my finger when we do the rings. To hell with tradition, do what makes sense for you.

Broke-ass Bride said...

I'll probably either use my e-ring for a wedding ring, too - as it was designed to be worn alone and I love it! Or I might use another ring he gave me for a birthday, which I never take off, as the wedding band. Either way, it will be meaningful and inexpensive... just like I like it!

SmallgoodBride said...

I decided to forgo the cost of a wedding band for now. I love my engagement ring and could not find anything to wear with it that I liked. I could have had something custom made, but I worried about the two rings rubbing the intricate filigree and engraving.

Either way, Bigbad and I had a simple part in our ceremony where we held our hands up to the other's heart and said our vows instead of a ring exchange. Everyone loved it and teared up.

SmallgoodBride said...

Oh, and if you change your mind you could always get an anniversary ring. ;)

Becca said...

A ring has nothing to do with commitment and marriage - the parters joining into it do. Rings are only symbols of that commitment and mean nothing in and of themselves. My friend's fiance is a carpenter and doesn't want a ring at all - so she's getting him a plastic Patriots ring for the ceremony! I'm going to wear my non-matchy e-ring on the right hand. To each, his or her own. Much like te wedding celebration itself.

Tiara said...

I honestly think that ban is just beautiful. It's quite fine but I just love it.

worm said...

i went through the same dilemma. My engagement ring is not meant to be stacked and I don't want to stop wearing it. So for the ceremony we used my great-grandmothers wedding band for the ring exchange. I was named after her and have had the ring since I was little so it was really special to me and my family.

It was nice to have a separate ring to use for the ceremony. I got lucky and had the perfect ring already. I wore the engagement ring on my right hand during the ceremony.

mouse said...

I just have the one ring, we chose it with that in mind, and it's very untraditional.

I don't like jewelry so the decision was easy. But if you like jewelry maybe wait and spend the cash on something you'll wear?

During the ceremony we just put it on the ring pillow. It was pretty simple. I think there's pictures in my bio.

West Aussie Wedding said...

If it were me, I'd just stick the one ring that you already love.. use that one for the ceremony and just think of it as your 'engagement AND wedding ring'. I dont see any point in complicating it.. esecially if another band would just detract from the ring you have

Angela said...

If a wedding band doesn't mean anything new, does a wedding/marriage?

Blind, Irish Pirate said...

I REALLY like the ring. I have heard, however, that some women incorporate an "engagement ring" part to their ceremony, somehow drawing attention to the symbolism of the engagement ring. I totally think that you could modify so it matches you and your fiance's needs and do away with the wedding band.

Blind, Irish Pirate said...

And to respond to angela:

A wedding band is a traditional OBJECT. A marriage is not an object.

Jill said...

I am getting a wedding band, and I'm doing exactly what you're thinking of doing, getting a 1 mm band, although in white gold, so it does not take away from the splendor of my engagement ring. It's also about $100, and his is only about $59. Nice. I think a wedding band does represent something the E-ring does not-it shows that you're definitely married, not just engaged anymore, and that you're taken, and truly committed. It shows that to the world. Or at least the people who notice it on your finger.

Meg said...

Just found your blog, and I love it. I need to go back and read your archives and catch up.I am w/ you on the ring, I don't know if I want to get a band as I will wear my engagement ring everyday, at most I would want a superthin band.

Hannah Noel said...

For me the engagement ring symbolizes the promise of marriage and all that jazz.
The wedding band signifies official marriage-bond between husband and wife? As you can tell I have no educated answer lol. I bet if I googled it I could come up with something better.

I do know that you are supposed to wear your engagement ring above your wedding band on your finger, to hold your wedding band closest to your heart-- so says the woman at Kay's.

Kelli said...

What a beautifully simple wedding band! I love it! We want a pic of your specially designed engagement ring though!

Elizabeth said...

I don't remember what your engagement ring is like, but a lot of women don't wear it every day because they don't want it to scratch their babies! So if you are planning on having kids that might be an issue.

Madelyn @ Southern Weddings said...

I adore that ring! It is simple but yet very classy and elegant! Fantastic post!