Wednesday, June 17, 2009

#648: well?

i'd promised honesty during the blog's early days... but now that i'm no longer anonymous, i'm getting quite shy about sharing the specifics.

a reader sent me this email, which was kind of lovely to read actually, considering the things i've been considering.

so i'm sharing it with you. so read it and let me know how you feel. i'm considering this an informal poll, of sorts.

hi there. you don't know me, but because i have been following your blog for so long, i feel like i know you. and because of that imbalance, it seems foolish for me to request something from you... but i'm going to anyway. i thought about commenting my request, but since i've never commented, and because i wanted to make sure that it got to you, i'm emailing. so without any further [creepy] ado...

please don't tell us how much you spent. it doesn't matter. it just doesn't. the whole journey of discovery and revelation [culminating with your pictures, oh! your pictures...] became more than a monetary goal. so much more. we don't need all the answers.

we all have the same goal, really - to capture, for ourselves, the memories of pure happiness that you've captured for yourself. so, no matter the name of your blog, or what you started out aiming for, you are successful.

like i said, you don't know me, so i won't be at all offended if you don't indulge my request. just putting it out there.

congratulations and best wishes always.

74 comments:

Courtney said...

I just deleted a long, twirling comment about why I appriciate anonymous' letter, but I deleted.

Plain and simple; I'd like to know. It has NOTHING to do with your success as a bride, but that's been the point of this blog.

Don't do it as a bride. Do it as a blogger. Does that make sense?

~ A reader who's been following a $10,000 wedding...

(lia) said...

I also appreciate the email but still think it'd be nice to know what actually happened in terms of money. I think most readers probably read other wedding blogs as well and it's nice to see the range of things that can happen within a given budget.

.reese. said...

i've been following as well...and i'm kind of with the anonymous letter writer.

i set to plan out my own wedding around a budget, and was planning to indulge in the deets about $$, but put simply, we surpassed it, and i have no regrets (cept that wishing it lasted longer). and i don't want to get into those deets. so i won't...not to the world anyway.

whatever you choose...your wedding was beautiful!

Little Miss Southern said...

I'd also like to know.

I believe that it is super helpful for other Brides to learn of various budgets.. I think it is amazing that you tried to stay within $10,000! Going over is a given, most usually do.

I don't see how giving a breakdown could be a bad thing.

-

bekapaige said...

Any amount of money means different things to different people in different places. $10,000 is a lot to some people and only pennies to others.

It doesn't matter. Whether you came in over or under $10,000. It doesn't matter.

Because the writer of the letter got it: it's about what you accomplish with whatever enormous or tiny budget that really matters- and what you accomplished was getting married.

Don't tell.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I would still love to hear how much you actually spent on your wedding, I'm sure we all would, considering we know what your goal was and we know you went above that goal (which is nothing to be ashamed of, because we all do it!).

That said, I understand why you'd feel uncomfortable doing so.

Jenny.Lee said...

I've been reading your blog since the "early days" and while it would be interesting to know I don't think it's necessary. If your not comfortable posting it then IMO that's that. :)

qasia said...

I definitely apprecitate the sentiments of the emailer...and if posting how much you spent or budget breakdowns or anything like that will make you feel bad or like a failure, then don't! Because the emailer is right, the money doesn't matter...all that matters is that you yourself are happy with the end result and comfortable with what you spent to achieve it.

BUT, if you realize that what you did was perfect for you and won't feel ashamed (and you shouldn't!) posting details of how you didn't make the completely random monetary goal you set...I think it would be very useful for other people out there to see. It's really great to get budget numbers from real people who had a real wedding.

Even if you ended up spending as much as the "average" wedding...it's really helpful to see those numbers contected to an actual wedding, rather than just these magical numbers the wedding industry throws out with no context.

Steph said...

I think a lot of people read your blog because they are trying to have a budget wedding... so, knowing your final budget would be helpful. Its not fair for us to think you had a wedding around $10,000 if it was actually 50k. If you went way over, it will just make everyone else who has the same problem feel good about themselves:)

Anonymous said...

I would like to know.

I appreciate the sentiments in Ananymous' letter, but I do not think your 'success' can be determined by how far over or under budget you were. You were clearly successful: you ended up married; you had a great night; your guests had a great night and even your celebrity photographer commented on how great your food was. Success!

If you are not comfortable with exact figures, how about giving a percentage of total amount spent for each item?

Anonymous said...

as someone struggling with budgeting for a wedding, i think it would be super helpful to have a breakdown. i wish more people would provide it! i do understand that it's a personal topic but as other's have commented, it really has nothing to do with your success. that being said, do what feels right to you.

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

I think you should do what feels right. I've always enjoy your blog and it's never been about what the final tally is. With that being said, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. :)

Jessica @ budgetsavvybride said...

I feel uncomfortable sharing the deets of my budget, too. I've been editing and editing my post of my final breakdown but havent published it. I started with a $10,000 goal... and we went a bit over it... and the fact is that some people are going to tell you to include things that you might not think should be included in your grand totals... but whatev. All that matters is that you were happy with the final product and don't regret spending what you spent- regardless of whether or not it fit into your original budget. if you don't want to post it, don't... do what you want! it's your blog, after all. :)

Jenn said...

This is how people get trapped. The fact is you said you spent more so what does it matter how much more it is?

What matters is the money you spent went towards the day you wanted. A day you and your husband will remember for the rest of your lives.

Its about the memories, you created the memories.

Maggie @ Eat, Drink, Marry said...

I couldn't agree with the letter more. Really. You set out to do something that felt right and real and honest to you. Sometimes that's less than we think it will cost. Sometimes it's more. You already said your magic spot cost more - what else is there to know? What matters most is getting to the right place for you, which you obviously, magically, fantastically, did. And I have been thrilled watching it unfold.

Stephanie Lyn said...

While I will admit, your blog title is what first attracted me to click on the link, you very simply state that you are no authority on wedding budgets. This is not a 'how-to'.

I'm pretty certain that you spent more than $10k. 1) This is Southern California 2) I know how much Max charges 3) My budget was $10k and we will most certainly be going over that.

So, really it's not the burning question on my mind.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the e-mail...publishing the breakdown may ruin the magic. That said, I have a 10K budget, so perhaps you can link to a separate site and then if we want to click and find out, it's up to us...

Tenille said...

I think I would like to see wedding porn more than an actual budget breakdown. Money is money and we all work with with different amounts and it doesn't really matter.

I would rather see a lot of photos of the wedding and your memories of the day and what this all means to you.

vunix said...

Tell it, girl.

Shari said...

I think not telling would be like one of those really great movies that doesnt end so great. You still tell people the movie was great- but you make sure to let them know the ending left you perplexed, or unsatisfied.

Not wanting to tell seems like you feel bad about it (and your wedding was SO beautiful that I hope that's not the case).

I dunno...if it's out of pure shyness, I say tell. Your readers are so supportive- there's nothing to be shy about! If you have other reasons for possibly not sharing- then I say you know best. HTH.

Michele said...

If you're uncomfortable, don't. I get that. If you're comfortable, then share.

If you don't feel comfortable getting into details, maybe breaking it down? A list of things that you were able to go cheap on, things you were able to meet budget on, and things you blew the budget on. No details, but could be helpful to a future bride - and there have to be TONS of future brides looking for frugal who read.

atout said...

i appreciate and echo a lot of the sentiments of the anonymous letter. don't feel obliged to spill your budget. i personally wouldn't feel too comfortable talking to the world about it if my face was associated with it. but, the one thing i am curious to know, as a someone planning a wedding, is where you ran into unexpected budget issues or cost.

but, it's your blog and you should do what you want!

The Introitus said...

i hope you share! I hope you share a full budget break down. I love reading your blog .... and not knowing ...well, thats like never finding out the end of a story. I think Courtney said it best - do it as a blogger, not a bride.

Anonymous said...

The email was really nice and my gut reaction is to agree with her. However, I also think that brides have no perspective on the budget. I didn't.
No one ever 'fesses up to the nitty gritty, but I think more people should. Just so people can have a dose of reality. I once saw a recap on this gorgeous & super amazing wedding. In bold CAPS they wrote the whole wedding was done for less than $15K. I was totally sucked in & wanted to know more. What I discovered was that the "whole" wedding was less than 50 people. (And they didn't include the wedding bands and the venue because it was their grandmother's vineyard or something fairytale like) So...yeah, not so helpful to the girl trying to spend less than $20K with 175 guests. And just to be fair, we spent $24K with 175 guests.

By the way, your photos, were not of this world. I swoon just thinking about them.

Mary said...

I, too, would like to know. I've been following you for so long, now I'm curious!

Vanessa said...

I just recently discovered your blog, read the whole thing in one night and have been checking (dilligently) everyday to see the outcome of your budget. It would most definately be like an amazing story with no ending. I mean, you did title your blog "a $10,000 wedding" after all.

If you feel uncomfortable, I completely understand but my suggestion is this if you don't want to go into total specifics:

Abt $XX,XXX

Under Budget
- invitations
- food

Right On The Money
- venue
- flowers
- transportation

Completely Blew It!
- dress
- favors

or something similar.

All of us budget brides would surely appreciate it!!

Anonymous said...

i agree with a previous commenter - i'm much more interested to hear what you spent money on, the percent of your budget, and if/why it cost more/less than you thought/budgeted.
personally, the actual monetary amounts don't matter to me - i'm not getting married in la - things are cheaper where i live. and i can definitely sympathize that now that you are no longer anonymous, you may have second thoughts about posting about money when your friends and family may read about it. money can be a very touchy, personal subject.

Anonymous said...

Please post. I am on a super limited budget and your breakdown would be very encouraging and helpful to me.

Anonymous said...

oh i agree it would be a movie with no ending... i don't think you need to say exact but i have been reading your blog to see what is possible for 10,000 or about. if your event ending up costing 50,000 then it isn't so useful to refer to -- a beautiful event for sure, but not one to use as a model when trying to only spend 10k.

Meg said...

Don't.
Or if you feel you have to, don't share a line by line. It's not the point, the letter writer is right, and it won't go anywhere good. There are many wonderful things about the blog-o-sphere, but I'm afraid when you you get down to brass tacks of numbers there is a lot of judgement. And you know what? You don't need even ONE negative comment about your wedding day.

Eff it, honey.

But if you do it, ONLY DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO, not because readers want it. Period.

Anonymous said...

I think this is a movie with a great ending, a beautiful wedding with a pair of obviously ecstatic lovebirds. I've been reading this blog for a long time now, and sure, it was interesting thinking all along that this wedding could get pulled off for under 10k, but really, it was fun to be just along for the ride.

I say, keep it to yourself, the goal was to have a great wedding. congrats. mission accomplished.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Vanessa if you don't feel comfortable sharing the actual amount spent at least give us an idea where you spent more than originally you had anticipated. Also I'm starting to plan a wedding and have been going through your past posts on everything from venues, to reception to budget and it would be awesome to know your final amount...if you don't want to I understand too...but one thing I would love to see...you're bridesmaid's dresses. I still haven't gone fully through your blog - so I'm not 100% positive what you went with. Thanks!

notsojenny said...

if you're comfortable with sharing it, i say do it.
afterall, everyone is nosey (admittedly or not) so that's the number one reason we all are curious. for me i have a #2 reason and it's just really interesting to me to see what everyone gets for their money. it's not about scrutinizing it, more just curiousity. i know i look at our budget all the time and wonder how it got so big but stlil can't seem to pair it down. i'm always amazed when i see gorgeous weddings and then they reveal the tiny price tag... makes me kinda envious i guess. and then ones with price tags 2x what we're spending? those ones give me a good excuse to say, okay, well that's why it was so amazing!
either way, i'm always impressed... but still very curious : )

amandam38 said...

Tell us how much!!!! Cmon - u started on the premise that you were having a 10k or less wedding and that's what got me following you since i'm planning a 10k or less wedding. Now, i realize im going over budget. no big deal -everyone goes over budget so it's not like it's a failure or anything.

Anyway, i would just really really like to know.

Jess said...

i agree that you should not post it. you set out with the idea of trying to keep it under $10,000 and in your planning you realized the wedding that you both wanted would not fit that budget. it doesn't mater what it cost. all that matters is that it was everything you wanted and more!

CaraBella said...

So, I read the first handful of comments + skimmed a couple more -- my votes for the best pieces all the other commenters have said: (1) this is your space. You're not here for other people, though I get that this feels like a relationship & you maybe you feel like you owe people -- but come on, that's not fair to you. But I'm also touchy about money, and feel you on anonymity making sharing $ deets more comfortable, but... now you're revealed :) Anyway. (2) If you'd like to stick to sharing, I like the general categories of "over," "under," and "blew it" -- genius! Because (3) with as many blogs as I follow :D, people say they want to know real numbers, but they've still got to make the tough decisions of what they'll choose to be their big ticket item, they still have to survey several vendors (and can get price checks that way), live in different parts of the country (possibly?) and so your $ amounts might vastly differ than what they're looking at... I don't know, I sense hesitation on your part, and you seem so great, I hate someone making themselves uncomfortable because of an obligation they feel.

Of course if you want to, your choice too :)

Jennifer {Bridal Inquirer} said...

When I was planning my wedding and scouring wedding websites/forums/blogs, I always LOVED when brides shared their budget details on their vendor reviews, etc. I personally shared the cost of everything on my blog. I too, had a budget of 10k and ended up coming in closer to 15k. I say its a "do share". But we will still love you either way! =)

Leika said...

I think telling us "we went over but the day was amazing and I wouldn't change it" or "we went over and I wish I had done xyz different" would be nice. In the end, I agree with the email: it's not all about the numbers. I'd much rather hear your thoughts on the whole experience.

If you really want to post numbers of some type, how about percentages? That way, people who want to know have some idea of how you allocated your final budget, but you don't have to post the dollar deets or how much over you went.

Bridechka said...

Wow great letter, I am gonna vote with the letter writer.

Traveling bride said...

I completely understand your desire not to share all the cost details.

However to be selfish, I'm planning my wedding at the moment I have looked to your blog and other as a source of ideas on how I too could save money and still have an amazing wedding. So I would really love to see a recap of the best deals, and budget ideas. I also would love to see a budget percentage breakdown, ie 30% food, 10% drinks ect. so you don't have to speak in terms of Dollars and Cents

NAT said...

Anonymous at 4:14 is the reason why I can undertand you not wanting to post the figures. It may not have been intentional, but I'd definately want to avoid that kind of judgement if I were you too. No matter what you ended up spending or what was included or how you saved money, someone is going to see it as a cop-out. e.g. you didn't include ring cost OMG, liar; or you got a friend to photograph, gasp Fruad! Personally I never thought your blog title meant you owed me answers, this is your life afterall, not a movie...

kaitli said...

I agree with Nat. I'm amazed at how many people are being judgmental on whether or not you post the numbers, even before you posted them.

I don't think you're not going to be able to please everyone, but then again, I don't know if that's your goal.

Just my two cents...

PLANNING ON PENNIES said...

1. i'd love to know the figures and costs and all the nosey details that you would be willing to share.
1.b the reason i would like to know the details is purely selfish.... i just want to know that i haven't failed at planning. reading someone else's trials, successes, and tribulations helps me to feel like i'm not alone and keeps me in check with my own planning. especially someone as down to earth and methodical as you. :)
2. if you decide not to share those nosey details it wouldn't be the end of the world. i will still respect and read your blog. you have helped me more than you know... obviously because we don't know each other ha! but seriously... reading this blog has been a tremendous help.

so regardless of what you decide to do.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Anonymous said...

I agree with some of the others who say to post it somewhere off to the side, so that people can find out if they wish or not.

Anonymous said...

I started following your blog BECAUSE it was a $10,000 wedding, and while I was equally enchanted by your charming way of expressing your journey, I'll admit I've been checking back daily to find out how close you came.


So, while the letter you received is lovely and sites good reasoning, I'm still hoping you post your result.

Incidentally, did you consider seeing if you could make some $$ back? I've still kept my budget running as I sell of some of the frills.

Julia said...

I totally agree with Stephanie Lyn - it's your blog, your business, and this was never a How To - 10K was an arbitrary amount that you once set as your goal (before you were even engaged, if I remember rightly?), I for one was never reading because of that, I only ever read because it is an interesting and fun blog. I really really disagree with the commenter who said "it's not fair to us to think you spent 10K when you actually spent 50K" WTF? you don't owe us, or anyone anything. What, are people going to feel cheated if it turns out you spent more? last I heard you never signed a contract with your readers promising you'd have a big budget "reveal" at the end of it all... do what YOU want. Of course, we're all interested- goodness knows wedding budgets is something we're all thinking about, but you don't have to tell us anything, and now you're not anonymous I think it's crazy for anyone to think it's a given.
x

seamsgoodtome said...

as a bride getting married in two months and trying to keep it under budget- i am interested in knowing how much you spent. i have enjoyed following your blog and just loved the pics! it was inspiring to see a beautiful wedding pulled off on a budget!!

Susan Fussell said...

The letter and request were thoughtfully written, and I agree that your success as a bride is unquestionably there. BUT, I started reading your blog because the name and topic. I kept reading because I was observing your ability to pull it off for $10K while making lovely decisions about where to have it, and how to decorate and what to say. We started planning our wedding at the same time as you, with the same budget as you and it was meaningful to me to have you out there. Soon we pushed our budget to $12K and came in a little over that ... so we all understand the struggles. It would be nice to know how it turned out for you (more than just OVER). It will also give you the chance to say, "we ended up spending more here because ...".

smorgan said...

tons of comments here, so i don't know what my two cents is worth but here goes! like others said, i started reading this blog because i'm also planning a 10k wedding. wedding is in october, and right now, we are at about 12k. so we went over, you went over, whatevs. that said, i would LOVE to know. but if you don't want to say, that's obviously your choice. your wedding was still everything you wanted it to be and that's what matters to you. but i do hope you will continue to post! about your budget or about whatever. this has been one of my fave blogs to follow!

DAS said...

I've never commented, but I've followed your blog BECAUSE of the $10,000 theme- I would feel so cheated to have you back out in the end- like what was the whole point of making that the title of the blog

Stee said...

I agree with Courtney - the point of the blog the whole time was to have a $10K wedding.
I'd like to know how close you were to that number, what changed, what you added, what you scrimped on to get the day you wanted.
If this was just a regular ol' wedding blog it wouldn't matter.
But the whole point of your blog - from the very beginning before you were even engaged - was to keep the number to $10K or less.
So yes, I'd like some final wrap-up to complete the journey.

Did the $10K wedding become $11K? or $20K?
Did the money no longer matter compared to the EVENT and the VISION?
Were you able to pay cash for everything or was a loan or credit cards involved now?

lazybride said...

You don't have to tell. at all. you owe your readers nothing, because you have already given so much.

i tell all newly engaged friends to visit your blog for happy, non pressured, non-preachy, totally honest bride blogging.

Brandy said...

I'm on the want to know list and where the extra/less spending popped up. I think sharing final budgets compared to what you thought it would originally be is incredibly helpful to other couples who are planning weddings.

Anonymous said...

I would love to know the final tally. Even more helpful to budget brides like me would like to see your original budget and actual as a side-by-side comparison so we know what ended up being more, what ended up being less, etc. I've been following forever to see, like your tagline says, "Can [she] do it?" Even though the answer turned out to be "no," I still think you've created something valuable here. And I know you feel exposed now that we've seen your gorgeous pics, but I'll bet you most of your readers are scattered across the country. I'm pretty sure I'll never run into you in Rhode Island! :-) And if I do, I promise I won't say a thing! Please do share if you're comfortable. It really is the ending I've been waiting for.

Jessica said...

The email was very lovely and I agree with her. Instead of giving us the exact number maybe a run down by category (flowers, dress, decorations, food, booze, photos, etc.) of where you chose to splurge and why without giving any dollar values. I think that would be more in keeping with the spirit of the blog, rather than a detailed accounting. Your wedding isn't just an experiment or a project anymore, it's the start of your marriage and it makes sense that you would want to protect that. I'm more interested in what you prioritized on your wedding day than how much it cost.

ally said...

shoot, i want to know. planning a wedding is confusing and overwhelming, and for those of us that 'look up' to what you were able to so beautifully pull off, knowing more about the financial aspect could be really helpful.

Heather from the bar said...

As a fellow bridal blogger who started out with a $10,000 budget, but will end up spending more (not a ton more, but more. I stopped counting a while back) I say do what makes you feel good. Seeing budgets is great, but at the end of the day, each bride has to make a wedding out of the money she's got. Whether that is $50 or $50,000. Knowing how much YOU spent on YOUR wedding won't change how much money THEY have to work with. If only all brides could realize, it is possible. No matter what your restraints, it is possible, it will be perfect in it's own way, and people will get over it (you know the people I am talking about, the ones who seem to always have an opinion on what a wedding SHOULD include) Anyways, your wedding was gorgeous, you don't owe us readers anything, and congratulations :)

Heather from the bar said...

haha i have to comment again now that i have read the other comments. For all of those who feel like this blog is a movie without an ending, um, I thought the wedding was the happy ending?! And to the brides who only followed this blog because of the name and need to feel validated or encouraged, here you go: you CAN do it. It WILL be awesome. I promise!

Anonymous said...

Please share! I've been following your blog early on and would love to know the budget outcome. Your wedding was beautiful and a grand success on any budget, but it would help other budgeting brides (like myself!) to know realistically that maybe going over budget is not the worse thing in the world.

Mariss said...

Go with your gut. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, especially if it will make you feel sick to your stomach.

However, I don't think you'll ruin the magic either way. Your wedding was gorgeous and you followed your priciples and heart. Who cares what the number is!

--signed, a lady who can't get motivated to start planning her own hopefully 10K wedding ;)

wedded twist said...

i think if you want to be professional you should follow through with your decision to disclose your plans for the $10,000 wedding and post the outcome, if not purely from a scientific point of view.

BUT here's the problem with your budget....

you obviously negotiated some trade to get what you want. we all know you can't afford max in a $10,000 budget however we all see the "max wanger" advertisement at the top of your blog. there is nothing wrong with this, i think you are incredibly savvy! but if you post your budget (which i REALLY think you should) you need to list what things should have cost and what you got them for because of your blog. it would only be fair.

can't wait to see! it will be really helpful.

Heather said...

Going over budget on a wedding is a given. Whether it is $100 or $10,000 - it happens. Mainly because most people don't have a clue about all the nuts and bolts that go into planning such an affair. That being said - I started reading this blog because I was interested in seeing what could be done for $10,000. I had a feeling a long time ago you weren't going to hit the mark (SoCal and Max Wanger??). But that is NOTHING to be ashamed of.

Most other blogs don't give up what goes into the cost of the wedding. Yours was supposed to - at least that was what you alluded to in your title and I think you need to live up to that. Do I care if you went over? No. But I think you would provide a MUCH needed benchmark for many brides out there looking to figure out how to get it all done right around budget.

I've gotten incredibly creative with my wedding and I'm still going to be about $3-5k over. Which is fine. It's why I budgeted for a buffer. But I work in the events industry and know these things. Others don't. Please share so that you can be a source of not only inspiration but information.

Thanks.

Claire said...

It doesn't matter to me if you reveal the final number (and who paid for what), but I would like to know if you have any regrets about any of the money/extra money you spent. I'm currently investing probably twice what I thought was reasonable in my wedding from my own savings, but I think I'll be really pleased when it all comes to pass in August. I'd love to at least hear your reflections.

ya said...

I dont think anyone really needs to know, but I'm sure we'd all like to anyways. I'd most want to know you thought was worth it. & what wasnt? obviously the photography was a chunk of mula, but it seems to be well worth it.
also... are you thinking about changing the name of the blog. now thats its on to married life?
your gorg!

abbatron said...

ooo this sure is a tuffie!!
i totally understand both sides of it. so maybe a compromise?
make a game! give us the numbers and the categories separately and we can try putting the two together like a matching game (like on worksheets you'd have to do in school, just include an answer key somewhere...) so that way the people who really don't want to know don't have to and the people who do can figure it out for themselves! just a thought...
but i think that if you don't want to disclose the numbers you don't have to. it's your blog, and regardless of the $10,000 name, i love reading it!!

Sarah said...

You shouldn't feel obligated to disclose anything. What does it matter what you spent? I think the important point here is that you went over budget, you had a great time and you didn't get struck by lightening just b/c it was over 10K. It happens to most of us- it's life!
And anyways, everyone has different priorities and we're going to spend our money on different things, so knowing exactly how much you actually spent isn't going to help the rest of us who are planning weddings on a budget. The whole point is that you are just like the rest of us modern gals trying to stay true to ourselves while planning an unforgettable occasion- whether you went over budget or not- and that's what has kept us coming back to your blog.
Let me close with: CONGRATS! Your photos are amazing, i can't imagine how fantastic the real thing was.

east side bride said...

DON'T TELL!

You know what? When I started planning, I took your goal for my goal (let's face it, we all did) and when I went over in the end I never counted it all up. I never told *myself.* Sure, I have a rough idea, but... Like your lovely reader says, it really doesn't matter.

un-bride said...

Plenty of people have weighed in on both sides ... I just wanted to send you some love.

Skeeta said...

Keep it to yourself. Its ok. Everyone fudges the numbers anyway. Some ppl include rings, some dont, some "forget" to include that specialty paper that they wasted, or the luncheon on wedding day. I totally agree with Ms email. PS- when I went over 10K, I stopped counting, and I really dont care anymore. That was 6 wks ago. ;o)

kristen said...

for me this blog was so much more than the 10,000 price tag. i'm an LA bride too - but that said i can already tell my wedding will be entirely different than yours. what i think all these independent and informative bride blogs show us is that we don't all have to have the same cookie cutter wedding. for that reason i don't think your final cost matters all that much.

no matter what you decide though, i think you totally rock!

Stephanie Lyn said...

I so very much agree with Kristen above this. You totally rock and I am thankful for awesome blogger brides who do more than cruise THE KNOT for inspiration.

Desaray said...

you should just write the entry. Break down your budget -- in what ever fashion you figure (percentages, under, over, at, blah blahblha), tell the story, bang out the feelings. Then decide if you want to post it. It sounds like there's a lot of important emotion wrapped up in it for you and by just writing the entry you can 1.) come to *truly* know the end of *your* story 2.) know what it is you are even trying to decide to share with all of us.

Eco Yogini said...

hmm- wow that was a lot of comments.

I agree with the letter writer. People will judge= I hate how people judge about money. It's about your wedding, not about the price tag- and it's done.

I also, as a fellow blogger, would laugh if someone asked me to be "professional" about my blog. It's a blog (and yours is a beautiful, wonderful, fantastic one!) but still a "personal" space.

Each bride will have to decide how and on what they would like to splurge or save money- weddings are not cookie cutter.

don't tell :)

The Perfect Pear l.l.c. - Jeremiah K said...

it doesnt matter what it says! the more important things are that you give a enough information and Ideas, by sharing yours! We are all appreciate what you shared with us on your journey, so don't give up, you help a lot of people out there, having this information! so keep it up! and congratulations!

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