Monday, June 22, 2009

#655: tipping point. ish.

we were shooting for a 100-person guestlist and that's what we budgeted for.

but somehow, we ended up hosting 130 people.

well. i shouldn't say "somehow". you know. since we're the ones who sent out the invitations.

we invited 140-150 of our closest friends and family, from all over the place, like from all over the country and all over the world. we both hoped everyone would come, but we weren't oblivious to things like the economy and the unemployment rate and companies whittling away employee benefits, cutting things like vacation days and 401k matching, and even going so far as to issue pay decreases...et cetera.

nope. not at all oblivious to things like that.

so we didn't expect a lot of people, especially those who would have to travel long distances, to be able to make it. that's just the reality these days, unfortunately, and we expected as such.

but...and to our delight...that's not what happened. most of our friends and family made the trip. they took the time. they switched things around to make it happen.

and i'd have to say that it was an incredible blessing.

one of the most fabulous things about our wedding for me was having the most important people in my world and his world, in one place, mixing, mingling, playing. together.

there will probably never be a time when our lives will collide again in that way. ever.

and so we paid about 30% more than we anticipated for the reception because almost everyone rsvp'd yes.

is this the biggest reason we went over? yes.

regret factor: Z-E-R-O.

30 comments:

lazybride said...

That's good to hear. That you don't regret inviting everyone.

Even with a 274 guestlist (yes, i know), whittling down 2 people here and 2 people there is painful and in the end, I don't want to regret not inviting someone.

You don't have to tell your number. I felt strangely scared and exposed when I revealed part of mine. Like everyone's judgement would come down on me. But in the end, I only got support from brides who are in the same ferry to wedded bliss land that i/we are.

Tris said...

WOO HOO!

Excellent news. We're starting to panic a little because we'd calculated according to the formula of 80% accept and then 5% don't show the day of even though they RSVP'd yes... so we figured 100-110. But, we haven't gotten one "No thanks" and so far the tally's at 80 and we still have 2 weeks of RSVPs rolling in. Umm, crap?

But, I'm so glad I read this. Cheers to an "intimate" and "personal" gathering of 130!

Tristen

Eco Yogini said...

fantastic! :)

what a beautiful and fantastic reason to go "over" budget!

Many many Blessings to you and your future life together!

the future mrs. smith said...

what a lovely reason to go over budget! you are lucky people to have such loving friends and family!

ya said...

yay for everyone showing up! I cant wait to have all my nearest & dearest & long losts in one local. talk about a par-tay!
I wanna hear about some cake...
I'm on a cake kick...

Crys said...

This is the perfect happy medium!! Thank you for being so brave and helping us other brides out along the way!! You really are inspirational!!

Meg said...

Exactly.

The Professional Bridesmaid said...

What a great reason to GO OVER! I'm glad so many people came to celebrate you and your husband.

Mollie D said...

GOOD FOR YOU! At some point, it's just money. You must be very loved to have eveyone travel so far for you- it a compliment to you and your husband.

Mariss said...

That is wonderful to hear. It reminds me exactly whey I don't want to go to the courthouse, so that we can have this day to be with all of our loved ones, and celebrate the start of a new-ish life :)

Kelley at My Island Wedding said...

"there will probably never be a time when our lives will collide again in that way. ever."

It's so true.

8 years ago my husband and I got married on a small island of the Northeast Coast..., we decided to invite all those people that meant the world to us.

and you know what? the majority of those people came. even though it was 11 days after 9/11, flights were still scarce; and they had to take a rough ferry and pay for hotels, etc.

it is still, by far the best day of my life... don't care how much it cost.

neither should you, nor should you feel a "total" is necessary.

You did an outstanding job on your wedding planning, and i'm so glad it was all you wanted it to be.

congrats.
-Kelley

ms. punk rock said...

so. effing. awesome.

(i thought i'd put my comment in a format that you would understand.)

Michelle said...

Dude, I don't even know you, but I heart you. I can't believe some of the a-holes who even bad-mouth you on this blog (sorry, I'm catching up on all of my blogs now!). You've provided nothing but wonderful, personal insights into your world and your blog is such an inspiration for me, who is in the crazy-early stages of planning my own wedding. I wish you and Mr. TTO nothing but the greatest of success and happiness. And seriously who cares if you went over a teensy bit? Those nit-pickers can suck it. ;)

Kari said...

Probably the most fantastic thing ever. Not the going over budget, but having so many devoted friends and family!! Gorgeous bride, gorgeous wedding. If mine turns out half as nice as yours, I will be a lucky girl! :O)

Shar said...

Our wedding is about the same size! We are budgeting for 120 but actually, invited 145. We had a really hard time making cuts to the guest list because as we added people to the "B" list, they made their way back to the "A" list because there was just no way we could think about celebrating without these people.

Wedding favors said...

It's great that most of the people you invited turned up for the wedding. Congrats and have a happy married life.

wedding favors

AnnC said...

That's the best reason to go over your budget and I'm glad you could have all those friends and family around you...
Oh and btw, because I hadn't stopped by for some time and hadn't seen your pics yet... Congrats ! You were beautiful and your pics awsome !

Anonymous said...

I feel so so sad that you've always been so honest and now you've decided to be so cagey about the amount you spent, offering little details here and there but not respecting your readers enough to be open with them.

You decided to make the amount you were going to spend on your wedding the title and central theme of this blog and now...

Your hesitation leads me to believe you must have spent a lot more then what you intended.

To not be clear and forthright now is to be disingenuous to your readers as well as to new people who find the blog through its title.

Say goodbye to this reader anyway.

Kathleen said...

ohhh that makes me so happy that people made it out to see you from near and far. That's really what I'm hoping will happen for our celebration, but I realize the economy sux. And if that's the reason we go over budget? I'll jump for joy. P.S. I've read your entire blog from start to finish and I love everything in it and you are inspiring to me. Thank you.

Ten Thousand Only said...

anon,

if that's what you interpret, after everything i've written in the past few posts, then i think it's better that you've stopped reading. no reason to keep reading something that makes you so upset, you know? afterall, it's just a blog. my blog.

tto

D-Day said...

tto - thanks for that response to the anon post. what. the eff. first of all, wow big deal, an anonymous reader isn't reading anymore. I'm sure that broke your heart. Also. Yeah. Your blog! Your decision! I think you've bent over backwards to be as open about the reckoning as you feel comfortable with. After learning today that you went over because more of your loved ones were able to make it than you dreamed possible - that's amazing. that's all I needed to hear, that pretty much explains everything, what the heck do these people want from you?? ARGH. I have my own blog (a couple actually) but I don't have near the readership you do, thankfully I haven't attracted any of these type who like to take ownership of other peoples creations. makes me so stinkin mad.

anyway thanks for everything.

WideEyedBride said...

you went over your budget because people love you. i.dig.that. way better than because "we wanted colored linens".

chicncheap said...

Your wedding is likely the biggest celebration of your life. Glad you went a little over and partied on with your loved ones.

Meg said...

PS
I love that people have decided that if you go over some totally random number then you FAIL. As ESB would say, "There is no fail."

Jessica said...

As a daily follower of your blog thank you sooo much for these little hints on how you went over budget. It's not about how much, but on what might have benn under estimated, didn't go as planned etc. so that we can all learn. I have definitly gone over budget mostly because I thought that rentals and some other items would have been much cheaper - it's not like I rent tables and chairs for a living. Thank you again for writing this blog. It is so enjoyable!

{The Perfect Palette} said...

thanks for sharing.

Sarah said...

i would say that's as AMAZING a reason as EVER to go over budget!!!!!! Cheers!!

Susan Fussell said...

Ahhh ... so helpful, actually. We went over for the same reasson but I found that when I divided our bottom line by the total number of people and then multiplied the total per person cost by 85 (we also used the 80 percent guideline - hah!), our originally expected attendance, then we came in right on budget. And the husband and I both agreed that if there was ever a reason to go over ... the love and support of our family friends was the right reason. Good for you. GOOD for you.

Missa said...

Going over by 10% shouldn't get the wedding blogosphere's panties in a bunch. You STILL had an affordable, meaningful and beautiful wedding and I hope you don't get any more crud about it from your commenters.

Plus, let's be real: My guest list is growing and it freaked me out at first, but we'll probably end up making our per-person cost back in gifts so in the long run its better to have everyone there you love. The debt won't last.

The Perfect Pear l.l.c. - Jeremiah K said...

thats a good thing about weddings, you could meet all the family in both sides, making friendship and bonds, sharing thoughts and points of view and most importantly celebrating the ones that are getting married, focusing the attentions with them, but its all good when all are invited, all of your friends, familys, siblings, even if they are far away from home, you should try to invite them, even if it takes 1000 mile to get to them, And Everybody well remember that special day both you and your partner having together as one!

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