Monday, December 8, 2008

#453: showers.

other than the fact that i apparently need to take one every day, i've often wondered about bridal showers...and whether i'd even want one.

granted, my own bridal shower is not mine to throw or even mine to want or not want. so why am i even thinking about this. well, i guess i'm a bit nervous about being on the receiving end. i feel a bit weirded out with yet another opportunity to accept gifts as a bride-to-be. i guess i want to know what we're celebrating and acknowledging, exactly.

i mean...bachelorette party is for unabashed wildness. i totally get that. and yes, i will gladly participate. holla.

but bridal showers? what's the point?

oddly, on the flipside, i love throwing showers and doting on bride-to-be's. oh. so maybe that's what bridal showers are about? allowing the ladies who love shower you with love...?

what's your take?


that said, there have been a couple of showers i've seen around the nets as of late that i have been slightly lusting after. i can't wait to use these (or some variation of these) ideas.

first, there was meg's shower. i guess when you're super practical, you're surrounded by friends who are just as practical (and lovely). books?! so. cool. (if you haven't read oscar wao yet, please do. now. thank you.)

blair on elizabeth anne designs shared the deets on her 5 showers. kitchen shower? yes please. stock the bar shower? always a good idea. but a christmas ornament shower?! that's just beyond radical.

i think the trick keep it personal to make it successful. note-to-self for any showers i throw in the future for my non married lovelies.

so...out of curiosity...what were the hi's-and-lo's of bridal showers you've thrown or been thrown?

p.s. pics of this party to come!


Bella said...

Hello there! I have been a lurker for awhile here and I thought I'd 'unmask' myself! :-)

I am a bride to be - our wedding is coming up on 1/31/09! We are planning an 'around $10k wedding' as well! So far it's been pretty succesful mainly because of our guest count and the time of year we are having it. So I feel you in terms of this all!

I just wanted to say that I was so nervous right before my shower. I think I had some anxiety going on! I don't like all the attention on me, but all in all it went really well. which would make sense - since everyone there are friends and family and there to support you!

I love your blog!!! :-)

rebekah at ead living said...

Would love a book shower! What a great idea.

Kiana said...

OMG too fun. I love these different ideas. I feel the same way about showers...I mean, I want one, but it feels a lil funny, like you're asking too much. I'm definitely gonna share these ideas w/ my MOH, thanks :)

Meg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Meg said...

I'm all about just letting people throw showers for you if they want to, and other than that, just making sure they are scaled back so you are comfortable with them - and if they want to have a theme, just picking something you like. Other than that - hands off. It's all about letting someone else appreciate you in there own way - and they know how to do that better than we do :)

cileag said...

I got married in July and I wasn't very excited about the shower idea until I talked with a good friend who explained it as a ritual--and how almost all cultures have rituals surrounding weddings and important transitions. And a night with the important women in my life helping me transition into being a spouse (and you can define that yourself), ended up being really lovely. My SIL hosted; everyone brought a dessert to share, and my SIL provided white dishtowels for folks to embroider. It was a brilliant idea! Some folks did clumsy initials; some did elaborate sunsets--but it was a great way to get people invested and interested while providing time for conversation.

ChendaBride said...


I'm new to the blogging phenom, but I have to say that blogs like yours have really drawn me in. Way to keep it real.

Anyway regarding showers, I concur with someone else here that it's mostly a cultural ritual. Women getting together to celebrate your next step in life. If you don't want gifts, I think it's reasonable to say that you want the company but not the wrapping paper. Anyway these days it seems like you can do what you want. The wedding thing (from engagement to the actual day) seems to get more individualized. So why not do a book shower or a bar-stocking shower? The point of a shower is really to mark the occasion, right? Anyway good luck, and luckily you don't have to plan any showers so you can just sit back and enjoy that part of the wedding journey.

I just got engaged and just started a blog myself. Reading your blog inspired me, and has helped me find some perspective.
I'm at chendabride.blogspot (i think. i don't really know how this stuff works)

keep well!

WestAussieWedding said...

I sort of think that a hens/bachelorette party is a good way for your younger loved ones to celebratate with you, while a shower/kitchen tea is a chance for those who aren't as keen on tequila slammers to have a go. Its sort of like the tamer more civilised version of a girly catchup.

I also find the whole present receiving thing really uncomfortable but I like the other suggestions, remind yourself that people are doing for you because they want to

BEL said...

i love these ideas! i'm in my friends wedding party and i was thinking about throwing a music shower, to build their album collection. ask people to bring something from the year they were born, their wedding year, classics, romantic music, etc. etc.

kristin said...

i've seen on a blog/website before a shower where guests bring different flowers/plants for the couple to add to their gardens. i can't remember, but i think they may have even planted them together at the shower. i love this idea, because it's something that will remind you of everyone that came to your shower, and also your wedding, whenever your garden blooms!

robin said...

The historical is that the community would shower the bride with gifts to start her own home. In this day and age, if you are living on your own and have a pot to your name it's greedy to have a shower where people bring you gifts. If I hear one more person tell me I should use the opportunity to upgrade all that I have, I will smack them. Let people shower you with love, but not gifts. Somewhere out there you can register for goats, yes, goats, they gift them to needy families.

Eliza said...

I think it's hard for some people (me included) to just accept that it makes other people happy to shower you with good feelings and love. To just open up to it.

If you really don't want more gifts, do a recipe or advice shower (everyone brings a recipe on a 3x5 card or a bit of relationship/marriage advice and writes it in a book) or something like that. But definitely don't skip it altogether.

Anne said...

Showers can be as formal or as informal as you wish. It can be a fun time to get stories and advice from the older generations as well as a time for gifts. Relax and enjoy!

Hannah Noel said...

I just went through our first shower! It was thrown by my FMIL's closest friends.

I've never really considered myself that shy or nervous of a person--- but I was kinda overwhelmed at everything. I only knew a handful of the 50 or more people that were buzzing around. I wanted to run and hide!

The Future Mrs Smith said...

I've too been a lurker for a while. I love your site. It's been a great silent support partner while I try to desperately play my own wedding on a budget and still keep ourselves and our family happy.

Just last week, I asked my MOH/bestest cousin about whether or not to have a bridal shower. We agreed that while the sentiment behind it is sweet, somewhere along the way, with the weddings we've been to, it's become just another gift receiving session. I really want a bridal shower but not one where people feel obligated to get me gifts. I just want to have the laughs that come with teasing the new bride about her upcoming married life, the cheesy games, and just lots of fun with the girls. We're thinking to curb the gift giving, we're going to put on the invites a saying Grandma used to use..."Your presence is our presents."