Monday, October 13, 2008

#399: prioritization in action. kind of.

after post #393, i got to thinking about the whole 'evening' requirement.

our main priority is to showcase our lifelong promise to each other and to also share that love with family. that's it. in fact, 80% of our guests are going to be family. aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, sibs, nieces, nephews, cousins. and 2nd cousins. and it made me wonder: why am i so hell bent on having a crazy blow-out nighttime party? i mean...if we want our wedding to be very simply, basically, and fundamentally about our love and our love for both of our families who've made us who we are today...why am i putting the heavy on the party-til-the-a.m. element.

yeah. it might have something to do with the fact that someone loves to party something tranny fierce. (guilty.)

and i got to thinking. that hey, a party...is a party. doesn't matter what time of day, as long as the right people are there with you.

getting to the point: i've kind of been focusing on the wrong aspect of our wedding (and consequently, trying to cater to a crowd other than most of our guestlist!) so...whilst this whole time i've been stubbornly against a daytime wedding (not in general but for us), i'm no longer. and fiance agrees.

i know. i'm thick. it takes a while for me to get it. meh. but at least i did.

19 comments:

amanda said...

here's a thought if you find yourself missing the party-till-dawn aspect of things. my cousin had a daytime wedding with a luncheon reception, and a secondary party that evening at a pool hall just for their friends. you could also get a posse together and just go out... it might solve a lot of your budget woes and provide you with a bit of late night party at the same time!

Becky said...

I had the same exact revelation a few months into planning! Here I was trying to force guests into a certain atmosphere I was creating. I thought I'd be disappointed w/out a raging nighttime party but when I really evaluated our guests it hit me that I'd be disappointed at the result of a nighttime party anyways. I'm going for my 'party' atmosphere by having an outside after party at my parents house. I think I'm actually looking forward more to buying things for the after party rather than the wedding itself.

casablancabride said...

The partying doesn't have to stop till dawn...you just need to be a little creative to make it work. We had a noon wedding with a reception from 1 - 6 (wine & cheese hour from 1 - 2 while we took pics). Somehow, our fabulous DJ managed to keep the dance floor PACKED the entire time, even with only wine served AND with my entire family non-drinkers. After the reception ended, we all went to my in-law's house and had an after party under the tent they rented for the rehearsal dinner. We ate leftovers from the rehearsal dinner (ribs and chicken) and the wedding (cake!). Then, around 9 p.m. all the siblings, cousins, and friends went bowling. Everyone paid for themselves and we had an awesome time.

Here's a link to my knot bio if you'd like photographic evidence that a day-time wedding can kick ass. http://tinyurl.com/3q95wq

Heather from the bar said...

It's amazing what revelations can do :) After we started to see the food minimums for a Saturday night dinner, we realized lunch would be much more appropriate. We will have a lot of people who will want to party, so after the reception we will probably take a nap, then dinner with our parents, and then we will hit up the local bars and tell everyone to be there. That way the entire day is spent around the people we love, without breaking the bank.

Sarah said...

this sounds like a great idea. we're opting for an afternoon wedding, too, that will probably last into the evening (around 8 or 9 is when i'm guessing folks will head out). this means that we have time to do fun afternoon lawn games during the reception (weather permitting), some dancing after dinner, and then the new husband and i can enjoy the whole night to ourselves. we're also tossing around the idea of meeting our friends out later to do some bar hopping as newlyweds, which could be fun, or having a bonfire back at our house that could go into the wee morning hours.

AmyJean said...

It's 5 oclock somewhere - so anytime can be party time, and who says the celebration ends just b/c the party does.. there is always a night time affair with friends/family at a different place!!!

Sounds like a great idea

Teana said...

yes! the after party! those are always fun. you can still wear your dress if you'd like or change into something else and still party into the am. its the best of both worlds really.

that and maybe you could parlay the change in reception time into some deals!

Marina said...

Man this sounds familiar. I just had this conversation with my mom. :)

Rachel said...

Chill lunch wedding (cheaper, too!) followed by crazy partying with those who like to party at a local bar?
Sounds perfect to me.

Meg said...

Now you are talking. I just went to a night wedding. Not sure it was any more hopping then a day wedding with the same crowd. But, more to the point, I think you are on to something with thinking about who your crowd REALLY IS. In my head our party is for our friends and our parents. But looking at who is being invited, it's really for a bunch of retired jewish people. Now, honestly, they can probably party harder then our friends, but I realized that you need to account for that. They are probably NOT going to get down to a play list of JT and Outkast...

Anyway, I'm hearing you.

Luis said...

We are having a daytime reception because of our venues availability on the date we wanted. At first I Wasn't thrilled, but I am liking the idea more and more.

Pictures look much better in daylight, the food is cheaper, and after the wedding I will meet with my friends and family at a nearby bar so I can throw back a few drinks (because frankly getting sloshed at your own wedding, a little tacky. Getting sloshed after the wedding, priceless)

Rebecca said...

a) I wish I had thought about a daytime cake & punch reception before making my venue decisions because we could've had a more reasonable budget. I'm jealous that you thought of it in enough time to do it.
b) I also didn't even think about who, exactly, the guests were and what they'd like to do (beyond my friends and immediate family) until I glanced at about 4 tables of our guests sitting while my friends, close family and I boogied down. (turns out, they had a great time watching us dance, so it was OK)
I think you're being very smart about this by re-thinking your expectations. I was disappointed when I realized that my friends weren't staying at the hotel and weren't likely, therefore, to join us for brunch there the next morning. So I had an informal afterparty at my parents' house (all the leftover booze went there and my friends followed) and hung out more with my friends. The next day, it was mostly family at brunch -- so we got to spend time with two distinct groups that are equally as important to us and in contexts that were appropriate for them. I walked away from the weekend feeling like I had spent some meaningful time with those most important to me.
Your "thinking outside the box" and challenging your expectations may result in something better than what you expected! Bravo!

West Aussie Wedding said...

There is nothing better than drinking in the sun! In Western Australia one of our favourite summer traditions is the 'Sunday Session' where everyone starts drinking at midday, has a late bbq lunch, and continues on after the sun goes down. Its so relaxing and festive and really makes the most of the good weather.

Another idea I love for wedding is the Champagne Breakfast.. say your vows by the water sunrise in the beautiful early light then have a big cook up with Champers for recpetion. Chances are your mates will still be partying with you after the sun goes down

Dana said...

yeah, girl! I can't wait to see what happens next :)

anna said...

Thank you for your blog! I too am trying to have a wedding (in the Uk) that is with a small budget! we are going to have a tea time reception and then go back to my aunts farm in the evening for a hog roast evening. I'm a little worried about activities for the evening- english weather and all any ideas?

E said...

I like afternoon weddings IN THEORY, but in practice, it just won't work for us. Where your guest list is very family centric, ours is friend-centric. In fact, the only family that will be invited or in attendance are our parents and his brother. And our friends like. to. party. Alot. And while you can certainly dance in the afternoon, you can't REALLY party down the way you do after dark.

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

Hello :) I'm am pretty new to your blog. I first started reading it because my fiance and i have the same budget, and thus far we're on track! We both wanted an evening wedding, so we're doing a dessert reception with the ceremony starting at 7. This way we can still have it in the evening, but the food cost is much cheaper than a dinner. We're having fruit, pastries, pies, cookies, and a chocolate fountain with various dipping items. It's an option that i thought might be helpful :)

engageology said...

Same! morning wedding, 1-8 reception, party, party with friends afterwards! Win, win!