#7: ok fine, maybe not 200.

this is a common occurance with asian weddings: have a HUGE wedding, pay a HUGE sum to pull it off, and then receive HUGE buckets of cash gifts that will *cross your fingers* help cover the cost. if you're really lucky, you will break even. if you're seriously blessed, you'll have money left over net of cost to buy furniture from crate and barrel or help pay for the honeymoon.

the *cross your fingers* concept of paying a lot...to invite a lot of people...to receive a lot of gifts...makes a lot of sense. especially when the parentals are involved. but with my $10,000 (imaginary) budget in tow, i think i'm going to have to head in a different direction.

in my industry...and in any sales-oriented industry, actually...it's said that the top 10% of your book generates 80% of your revenue. so...why spread yourself thin to include peeps you don't really care about and who could really care less about you? instead, the hubs and i should concentrate on focusing on the people who matter, right? right! so fine, maybe the guestlist doesn't HAVE to be 200 people long.

besides, i came up with '200' only because i was really considering the 'rents. and also because my family alone will be 70 people. anyways, why they gotta be so popular? bottom line: we are not pawns! if i don't know you, please don't expect an invite.

when i 'joke' around with mom (and also to sneakily get a feel of how she'd really take it) and tell her she's allowed to invite 20 peeps, the direct quote i get is: "do you know how much i spent going to weddings?!" sucks to be you mom but i don't think i can factor your past into my budget. ten thousand only, woman!

so having made the argument...uh, against myself...i think i'm going to opt for a small wedding (120 max??) and stray from the *cross your fingers* method. i want to spend my own dizzo and don't want to stress about having to make it back. i feel like a lot of brides have those expectations. and that's not what i want to focus on for my own wedding. i don't want to think about whether we're getting back as much as we're giving to our guests. i just want it to be a lasting experience shared by our close loved ones. i never in a million years thought i'd say that (and mean it)...but it's starting to really make sense to me.

and ten thousand? that's a figure i'm comfortable parting with.