#666: pie.

six hundred and sixty six posts. wow.

anyways.

i did some messing around on excel and created this thing. it's our expense pie.



the reception (food and drinks) for 130 guests took up 63% of our total expenditures. i wonder if that's average or not. i looked through wedding budget calculators and most of them allocate 45-50% for food and drinks.

can't say i'm not glad our budget leaned heavy towards good food and imbibementals. mm hm.

how much of your total are you allocating to the reception?

#599: words.

i haven't really written anything worth reading these days. or ever.

but meg has. and then esb made me laugh.

and then LPC noted i never use caps. and then i couldn't stop reading her blog.

that's all.

#460: continuing the money talk.

what may be common sense for some may not be so obvious for others.

if you think you're in the latter category and could use some tips as you plan your wedding, give these a read:

1) ...via perfect bound.

2) ...via manolo for the brides.

#425: just say no.

cheerio.

please read this.

and this.

*************************************

a wedding should never be defined by its tangibles, no matter how complicated or simple. and it's disheartening to know that it's become status quo to put ourselves under so much pressure to impress (either monetarily or craft-ily or even first dance-ily).

let's say no to all that. and just revel in being ourselves. let's be confident enough to spend a millllllllion dollars or bake our own 15-tiered cake only if we want to. not because WIC or Martha or our peers are demanding it.

a wedding is, in its simplest form, an announcement to your close ones that you're committing to your betrothed for forever...and that you're going to come into some tax benefits as a couple.

all the rest of it is...stuff.


*note to self*

#412: tip this.

our venue reminds me of 'semi homemade with sandra lee'. because it includes 95% of all-things-needed-for-a-wedding-reception, i (very brilliantly) will not have to hire outside what the venue already provides. instead, i can focus on tweaking small things here and there along the way to make the venue and the event reflective of "us".

and the best part? i won't have to carry around a big wad of cash on the day-of to tip multiple vendors. awe. some.

i will not be tipping (because i will not be using...):
a caterer
a makeup artist
a hairstylist
a florist
lighting specialists
linen people
chaircover people
valet

am i missing anyone? the venue estimate is inclusive of 19% gratuity (servers, bartenders) so i don't think i need to tip anyone there, right?

wait, so does this mean i really have no one to tip on the day-of?

freaking awesome.

oh wait, i might hire a dj. who i'd then have to tip. but then again, i might just use an ipod.

#405: your daily dose of candy.

even daily candy has a wedding section.

read their budget friendly tips here.

#399: prioritization in action. kind of.

after post #393, i got to thinking about the whole 'evening' requirement.

our main priority is to showcase our lifelong promise to each other and to also share that love with family. that's it. in fact, 80% of our guests are going to be family. aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, sibs, nieces, nephews, cousins. and 2nd cousins. and it made me wonder: why am i so hell bent on having a crazy blow-out nighttime party? i mean...if we want our wedding to be very simply, basically, and fundamentally about our love and our love for both of our families who've made us who we are today...why am i putting the heavy on the party-til-the-a.m. element.

yeah. it might have something to do with the fact that someone loves to party something tranny fierce. (guilty.)

and i got to thinking. that hey, a party...is a party. doesn't matter what time of day, as long as the right people are there with you.

getting to the point: i've kind of been focusing on the wrong aspect of our wedding (and consequently, trying to cater to a crowd other than most of our guestlist!) so...whilst this whole time i've been stubbornly against a daytime wedding (not in general but for us), i'm no longer. and fiance agrees.

i know. i'm thick. it takes a while for me to get it. meh. but at least i did.

#393: i'd love to stay sane.

"i want this bad boy $10,000 budget to encompass everything...the venue the food the dress the booze the rings to the everything else. e-ver-y-thing." -me

yes, that was me. about 1.5 years ago. and wow, how things doth change with 1.5 years worth of reality checks.

so here's what i'm thinking:

$10,000 must include venue, food, drink, dress, dj, centerpieces, invitations.
$10,000 will not include photography, rings, honeymoon, gifts.

because my tag line is "can i do it?" and at this point, i'm really starting to feel like i can't. not with my original checklist.

the MUSTS:

• 100-125 guest list (80% of that is family. so cutting further isn't an option.)
• evening event with alcohol
  

and those 2 criteria are killing me larry. no matter how i slice and dice, i can't seem to make it work, not if the $10,000 has to include food + bev, PLUS photography, the rings, gifts, etc.

so what do you think of my re-write, now that i know about 20% service fees and 8.25% sales tax charges? and cake cutting fees, dance floor fees, site fees, security fees...

does it make my budget more reasonable? or is it a cop-out?

#384: broke-ass brillz.

hey. here's a thought. why not extend the life of all the stuffs from your one-day affair and at the same time save some coin.

read more from miss broke ass bride.

#379: what's the point of having cake if you can't eat it too?

things i've been doing lately:

1) driving everyone nuts (though they're all too kind to tell me to my face). "we're getting hitched in april!" "oh wait, make that february!" "ahhh...ok, may!" "um...maybe november?" "uhhhhhh...back to february or may..."

self: please STFU.

2) getting (pushed) off track. i didn't think i'd do this when i earnestly began searching for a reception venue but most of the places i've contacted really aren't that far off the road-frequently-traveled-by-brides (ok, fine, i've only received an estimate from one place so far but still...it ceremoniously ripped my budget to shreds...). which means they're all rather expensive. which means i've also been...

3) driving myself nuts trying to hold tight to this budget whilst also clinging to the Big Vision with ALL SIGNS pointing to IMPOSSIBLE.

as a result, and to point out the obvious, the venue search has been an utter failure. meh, i should rephrase that. finding a venue that we like, that we think our guests would like, all the while sticking to my $10,000 goal...has been mindbendingly difficult and disappointing.

i feel like i've looked for so long for "unique venues" (read: venues not on the road-frequently-traveled-by-brides thus able to make friends with my budget) or at least unique ways in order to find unique venues. but over the past couple of months, i've somehow come full circle back to popular wedding venues...which translates to EXPENSIVE...which translates to WILL BREAK MY BUDGET AND TAKE MY ARMS AND LEGS. which is so far away from where i thought i'd be. which has been making me anxious about our budget.

what am i doing. i can't pull this off. aim for the stars and at least reach the moon? not so much, apparently.

and the fiance has even said to me on several occasions while witnessing the struggle:
hey...maybe TTO could stand for..."twenty thousand only"...? yeah? deal or no deal?

NO DEAL! HA HA HA! you're so silly!!!...

but seriously? i've allowed myself to wonder as of late...would it BE so wrong to break the ceiling juuuuust a little bit? like...by 100%?

but i don't want to! {cue 'cry me a river' here}

so...what am i doing wrong? and why do i constantly feel like my mind keeps battling itself? (as evidenced by the scarily-all-over-the-place-complete-with-multiple-voices episode you just read above...)

enter reader crafty beaver with her comment:
Seems to me that a lot of heartache comes NOT from trying to throw a great wedding and party on $10K (or whatever your personal number is), but from trying to throw the $50K wedding in all the pictures on $10K.

wait a minute. wait a minute. so what you're saying is...

i can't throw a $50k wedding for $10k.

man, why have i been driving myself nutso's when it's really that simple?

i can't have my cake and eat it too. unless i change the type of cake i want...in which case i may end up getting and eating the best cake of my freaking life. and now that i realize that and (key word coming up...) ACCEPT it...i'm feeling quite motivated again.

first step: to revisit my priorities. post to come shortly.

p.s. bloggers-you-love-to-read meg and guilty also gave me some juice with their recent posts.

p.p.s. um. i love all ya'll.

#285: i am not an island.

what makes this blog work.........

........is (are?) other blogs.

if you don't believe me, take a gander at my profile. i compile my ideas from blogs i visit daily. i really do.

and i found another one to add to my blogroll. meg is the funky fresh over at a practical wedding. plus, she's TEAM $10,000 as can be verified by her budget friendly (and quite practical, i must admit) posts here and here.

#282: FOTB.

remember when steve martin pictured himself manning the grill (whilst donning a chef's hat, at that) in his backyard with picnic tables, streamers and balloons and kids running around everywhere...

the wedding ultimately ended up being much more of a schmancy affair, at $250/head. (a little trivia: i'm very familiar with the actual house they used in the movie; my piano teacher lived 2 blocks away from it!)

so that begs the question...does going budget-friendly automatically mean having to go casual like a simple cake and punch affair. or, if not casual, limiting your offerings to just champagne and dessert. or, if not limiting your offerings, paring down your list to 25 people.

fact: when you're going 'budget', you have to give hard-knuckled consideration to and from the get-go decide where you're willing to compromise and where you're...just really not.

i think i've been fairly consistent in saying that i'm ok letting go of: the $5000 dress, the flowers that are going to wilt within days, the huge bridal party, the extensive guest list, the fancy paper, and the extras (favors, bathroom baskets, OOT bags, etc).

but i'm also getting more stubborn with the there-are-no-compromises-here items: good food (meaning a complete meal. not just apps or desserts. this is top priority.), style, pizzazz, amazing photography, and a blow out party (aka major drinkage for all!).

knowing this, bf said to me the other night: "$10,000 isn't possible when a decent chicken dinner for a wedding costs $70/pp. i think you have to consider spending more than $10,000. how about setting the limit at $20,000?"

i'm a capricorn which means i don't handle defeat well. and i'm stubborn as hell. which means i'll just have to find a way. i just have to.

#271: unbelievably less than $15,000.

photo by jessica johnston as seen on snippet & ink.

key take-aways from knottie 99vintageglam who was able to plan her outrageously beautiful wedding for under $15,000:
*75 guests
*non-floral, all candle centerpieces
*ornate venue, minimal decorations
*tissue pomanders
*beer and wine only (per venue's orders)

#244: another list.

budget brides bio.

#240: real simple linky love.

darci at with this ring was kind enough to share all of the downloadable links from the FIRST EVER real simple wedding issue. thank you.

p.s. guess which list i clicked on first.

#146: nifty site.

found an interactive wedding budget planner!

you enter your budget amount and based on their own models, they spit out an allocation. i think this is a great and basic starting point in determining how much should go where.

this is what came out for me:

tto and tto bf's Wedding Budget
Estimates Based On A Budget Of: 10000
Estimate

RECEPTION Food, Drinks, Location Fee 5000
ATTIRE Bridal Dress, Tuxedos, Accessories 1000
PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY Photographer, Videographer, Albums 1000
ENTERTAINMENT DJ's, String Quartet, Band 1000
MISCELLANEOUS Marriage License, taxes, tips 450
FLORAL/DECORATION Bouquets, Boutonnieres, Ceremony Flowers, Table Centerpieces 1000
STATIONERY Wedding Invitations, RSVP Cards, Thank You Cards 400
RINGS Bride's Wedding Ring, Groom's Wedding Ring 200
TRANSPORTATION Transportation to the Ceremony, Transportation to the Reception 400
GIFTS Wedding Favors, Gifts for the Female and Male Attendants 250
CEREMONY Ceremony Location Fees, Officiant's Fee or Donation 150

i can tell you straight up that i'd ex the transportation cost and entertainment would not be $1000 (ipods rule!). instead, i'd add those funds to the reception or photography costs. and with my previous budgets, i hadn't even factored in marriage license fees and such. see how helpful it is? try it!

#144: more tips.

Leigh Miller Photography

after i mentioned knottie greengelato in the previous post, i took the time to read through her profile. and boy, am i glad i did because i found some great tips. plus, i was reading through her blog and discovered that she's the super creative gal who hosted a fantastic bridal shower party that i had seen featured a few months ago on hostess with the mostess! small blog world.

here are the tips that gave me some fantastic lightbulb moments:

Bridesmaids dresses- BCBG Warehouse
One of my bridesmaids friends works at BCBG headquarters and she hooked me up with a free pass to their warehouse store for employees and their friends. The dresses are gorgeous in person and get this, were only $30 each! They have periodic sales to the public…the next one is on December 9th- it’s definitely worth going to (and waiting in line for). I was able to find 6 dresses in their exact sizes.

Favors- Papermart and 99 Cent Store
To my surprise, I found out that papermart.com was located in Los Angeles! I was able to pick up my favorboxes- 200 for like $50. I filled the favors with rainbow tootsie rolls from the 99 cent store.

Votives- Walmart
I did my research and walmart has the absolute cheapest votives- a 24 pack for only $4.99. The wick is right under the rim of the glass, which meets most fire hazard standards.

Cocktail Hour food and alcohol- Koreatown & Costco
I actually had Korean food during my cocktail hour in order to appease the Korean guests. I had dduk (ricecakes), fried shrimp, little veggie wrap things, potstickers, mini chicken things, a fancy fruit platter, and some other items. My mom did extensive research to find the best appetizers that would not be too crazy Korean and visually appealing. My caterer allowed outside food since it was “ethnic”. I saved a lot of money doing this, considering that SAG charges 2 bucks per potsticker!! I also purchased all the alcohol at Costco. This saved SOOOO much money

Rentals- Mary’s Rentals, La Puente 626.855.0209 Mary’s Rentals is one of the best deals I found. They are a small mom and pop rental company in East LA and their prices are the lowest I found. Their rental list is not as extensive as the bigger companies, but I was able to get most of my items via Mary’s. They also didn’t charge me extra for satin champagne overlays since another bride had just special ordered them for her wedding. Great personable service.

Rentals- Event Professionals Mary’s didn’t have wood chairs so I ordered natural brown wood ones at Event Professionals for only $1.50 each! That was at least a dollar cheaper than I found elsewhere.

her tips also give insight as to what the venue will allow. i love that she was able to purchase her own alcohol! plus, she was able to rent her own tables/chairs/etc which most likely saved her some money. granted, her wedding was at the overall more expensive SAG (santa anita gardens) venue Villa del Sol D’oro. but still...perhaps if she was able to rent her own ware and purchase her own alky, it'd also be allowed at SAG's other, more economically-friendly featured venue, Prince Erik Hall? hm...

#142: going to the chapel.

i haven't blogged since monday?! i disgust myself.

but even more disgusting is the fact that i've actually been busy...researching like a hound for venues. i found another resource www.projectwedding.com and scrolled their entire list of reception sites. literally. i think there were 400+ venues. and i couldn't find even ONE that would fit my budget.

a reader suggested Villa del Sol D’oro, because they charge $17/head for catering services. it perked me up because i could have sworn i had seen that venue marked as $$$ out of $$$$$ on the projectwedding site. and, uh, anything even $$ out of $$$$$ seemed to be too expensive. so, not wanting to rely on my shoddy memory, i googled bios and came across popular knottie greengelato, whose pictures i had seen many a times off other sites. her review stated that the site rental cost $4000. wow, right?

so i dug around and found first that the site rental is now $4500. but, more importantly, and i guess not surprisingly, i also found that there are a ton of manual costs involved. like a $25 delivery fee, a per table/chair/napkin fee, required server/security/bartender fees, and greengelato mentioned ICE FEES?!?! ai yai yai.

but doing all that math in my head isn't practical. so i drew up an actual budget scape.

$4500 site fee
12 tables x $8 ea. = $96
120 chairs x $1.60 ea. = $192
12 linen sets x $15 ea. = $180 (p.s. i don't know what 'linen' means. i initially thought it was linen/napkin per person...but at $15, i'm thinking not...)
6 servers @ $125 ea. = $750
2 security @ $80 ea. = $160
1 bartender @ $150 ea. = $150
TOTAL = $6028
+ sales tax = $6525

food stuff
wedding cake package: 120 guests @ $7 ea. = $840
meal: 120 guests @ $20 ea. = $2400
TOTAL = $3240
+ sales tax = $3507
+ gratuity = $4033

so. without alcohol, it would run $10500. and sadly, that is out of my budget realm.

but you know how i'm all about looking at links of links of links? the catering site mentioned a prince erik hall that seemed to offer significantly lower fees.

$1200 site fee INCLUDES tables/linens/chairs/china!
6 servers @ $100 ea. = $600
2 security @ $80 ea. = $160
2 bartenders @ $100 ea. = $200
TOTAL = $2160
+ sales tax = $2338

food stuff
wedding cake package: 120 guests @ $7 ea. = $840
meal: 120 guests @ $20 ea. = $2400
TOTAL = $3240
+ sales tax = $3507
+ gratuity = $4033

so without alcohol, it would cost $6371 which comes out to $53/pp. which isn't too shabby. and i'm glad i did all this mapping out of costs because doing this taught me something...that concentrating on just the cost of food per person vs overall cost per person could be uber misleading.

the bottom line figures are not out of my range (yay!) and especially taking into consideration that i included tax and gratuity in my estimates, this venue is certainly a possibility.

here's a picture. what do you think?

#140: find him or her.

from offbeatbride.com

the bride found a free photographer through craigslist. dag! through the links, you'll be led to photographer laurence kim's blog. which in and of itself is amazing.

they exist. so don't rule out the search for free photography, people!

#128: photos.

captivating.

i would never be able to afford her. packages start at $7500. yikes. but is she worth it? abso-effing-lutely.

jessica claire.

do you think she'd do those free sessions again...?

EVERYONE CROSS YOUR FINGERS! :)